Walmart 100% Satisfaction Guarantee Tested With Crappy Crackers
Last week I tried these disgusting Sam's Choice brand Salsa and Cream Cheese snack crackers that Tania had decided to purchase from Walmart. I know just saying, "Walmart Salsa and Cream Cheese crackers" is enough for most people to stray away from them, but I mean even River wouldn't eat them and that kid eats any cracker no matter what flavor. Anyway today I read on the back of that box of crackers, "100% SATISFACTION GUARANTEE If you are not completely satisfied, Wal-Mart will gladly provide you a full refund." As we were going to go to Walmart I decided what the hell, let's see if I can return this...
Well with two kids in the shopping cart I pull up to the Walmart Customer Service counter with that silly cracker box in my hand and absolutely no receipt to aid in my cause. A Midwest-Walmart-typical, unattractive and overweight white woman greets me from behind the counter. So I reach over the counter and point to the actual message on the box as I explain to her that I had read this guarantee and (making my disgusting yuck face) that these crackers tasted just plain AWFUL! So much to my surprise without event a hint of hesitation or look in my eyes she grabs the box from my hand, points to a number on the box and quickly punches some keys on her computer. Immediately there's a CHA-CHING! the drawer ejects, she pulls out a dollar and a quarter and hands it to me. Then she thanks me! I say a surprising "Thanks!" and turn away from her with a psychotic grin. Laughing out loud in disbelief, I hold the dollar bill high in the air taught between my two hands, like I won it, and after a long pause... ... ... ... I put the small, meaningless change into my pocket; then with an odd perma-grin remaining on my face, push my cart of kids to another part of the store. Huh. At Walmart. Imagine that!
Well with two kids in the shopping cart I pull up to the Walmart Customer Service counter with that silly cracker box in my hand and absolutely no receipt to aid in my cause. A Midwest-Walmart-typical, unattractive and overweight white woman greets me from behind the counter. So I reach over the counter and point to the actual message on the box as I explain to her that I had read this guarantee and (making my disgusting yuck face) that these crackers tasted just plain AWFUL! So much to my surprise without event a hint of hesitation or look in my eyes she grabs the box from my hand, points to a number on the box and quickly punches some keys on her computer. Immediately there's a CHA-CHING! the drawer ejects, she pulls out a dollar and a quarter and hands it to me. Then she thanks me! I say a surprising "Thanks!" and turn away from her with a psychotic grin. Laughing out loud in disbelief, I hold the dollar bill high in the air taught between my two hands, like I won it, and after a long pause... ... ... ... I put the small, meaningless change into my pocket; then with an odd perma-grin remaining on my face, push my cart of kids to another part of the store. Huh. At Walmart. Imagine that!
